Bites

Emma and the Vampires by Jane Austen and Wayne Josephson

noreply@blogger.com (Donna @ Bites) — Sun, 27 May 2012 22:47:00 +0000

Published August 1, 2010.

What better place than pale England to hide a secret society of gentlemen vampires?

In this hilarious retelling of Jane Austen's "Emma," screenwriter Wayne Josephson casts Mr. Knightley as one of the most handsome and noble of the gentlemen village vampires. Blithely unaware of their presence, Emma, who imagines she has a special gift for matchmaking, attempts to arrange the affairs of her social circle with delightfully disastrous results. But when her dear friend Harriet Smith declares her love for Mr. Knightley, Emma realizes she's the one who wants to stay up all night with him. Fortunately, Mr. Knightley has been hiding a secret deep within his unbeating heart-his (literal) undying love for her... (goodreads.com)

My stopping my reading of EMMA AND THE VAMPIRES didn't really have much to do with Josephson's add-in of the vampires to EMMA. It was Emma herself. I'm going to take a shot in the dark here and assume that the EMMA text really wasn't touched all that much; only where needed to amend for the vampire insertion (well doesn't that sound pornographic). I thought it blended nicely enough except for the fact that it appeared people only had problems with certain kinds of vampires and were conveniently oblivious to them when it suited them. For instance some people whom they knew were vampires but were far more civilized were noted as having a curious aversion to the sunlight and hung black-out curtains and never ate. It was weird and kind of off-putting. I really didn't understand the ignorance for some but not for them all. Why was it odd that a guy didn't like the sun if you already knew he was a vampire? It seemed really disjointed and I couldn't get my head around it for what I read.

Really my distaste was for Emma. What a freaking snatch she was. Her nose was so far in the air I'm surprised she couldn't smell bird farts. She thought exceptionally highly of herself and just couldn't imagine associating with people she felt were lesser than her. Oh the horror. Her open disdain for "lower" people made me want to smack her. And I certainly don't understand why this is appealing to read. Is it satirical? Does she get her mouth smacked and get knocked down a peg at the end of the book? Because she needs a serious dose of reality. I just couldn't stand her. I didn't find her outlook on life appealing. I didn't find her pretentious setting-up of rich snobs quirky. I wanted to hit her with a bus.

So I'm pegging this DNF down to Austen herself. While the vampire insertion (*enter porn music here*) wasn't all that bad the bi-polar behavior of the characters was at times confusing and irritating. But Emma? The creation of Austen? That's one baby that needed to be aborted. Drech. Now I have a bonafide reason to avoid Austen novels because if they're all in that style I may end up lighting them on fire.

Ban Factor: Medium - Only because the vampire aspect would get banner attention. But upon reading (doubt it), they would find Emma the proper lady fastening her stake to her leg with pretty little ribbons. Yak.

Things I've Learned from Books + 153

noreply@blogger.com (Donna @ Bites) — Sun, 27 May 2012 15:41:00 +0000

AjCrAzYo.com

Jane Austen makes me want to stab myself in the eye. Repeatedly. Sorry, Evil Twin.

80s Awesomeness! ~ 161

noreply@blogger.com (Donna @ Bites) — Sat, 26 May 2012 13:12:00 +0000

WASTOID!!!

AKA a loser. You may or not remember Emilio Estevez's character Andy in The Breakfast Club slinging this particular piece of insult at the "criminal" John Bender, aka Judd Nelson for wanting to blaze a doobie. For which he caves to peer pressure and actively participates. Way to stand by your laurels, Andy.

Freaky Friday :|: 161

noreply@blogger.com (Donna @ Bites) — Sat, 26 May 2012 11:41:00 +0000

Title: Summer of Secrets
Author: Richie Tankersley Cusick
Published: July 1, 1996
Publisher: Simon Pulse
Pages: 224
Summary:

Lost on a dark country road, Gayle and her best friend Stephanie are hit by a truck that was following them without any light. Their damaged car was only the beginning, for mysterious "accidents" are suddenly occurring. Gayle knows she must find the answer soon--danger is only a heartbeat away. (fantasticfiction.co.uk)

I don't understand how the cover relates to this. Is there a roll in ze hay involved? This looks like your token tacky romance novel, not your token YA cheese horror novel. I think someone needs to Photoshop a knife into the guy's hand or something because there's a severe disconnect here.

This week on Blogger Confidential . . .

noreply@blogger.com (Donna @ Bites) — Fri, 25 May 2012 01:39:00 +0000

This week Emily invited us over to chat about uncomfortable author confrontations and how we'd deal with them. Or have, in some unfortunate cases. Come see what we had to say!

Wilde's Fire by Krystal Wade

noreply@blogger.com (Donna @ Bites) — Fri, 25 May 2012 00:08:00 +0000

Published May 13, 2012.

Author website.

Katriona Wilde has never wondered what it would feel like to have everything she’s ever known and loved ripped away, but she is about to find out.

When she inadvertently leads her sister and best friend through a portal into a world she’s dreamed of for six years, she finds herself faced with more than just the frightening creatures in front of her. Kate’s forced to accept a new truth: her entire life has been a lie, and those closest to her have betrayed her.

What’s worse, she has no control over her new future, and it’s full of magic and horrors from which nightmares are made.

Will Kate discover and learn to control who she really is in time to save the ones she loves, or will all be lost? (netgalley.com)

Okay, let me just put this out there: I don't read books with the intent to crap all over them. When I pick up a book to read and/or review I do it because it sounds like something I'd actually want to read. I don't go into lulz or DNFs knowing that's what they'll be because, quite frankly, why would I waste my time? So when WILDE'S FIRE turned out to be a total turd I was disappointed. Like I said, I don't like not finishing books but the entire time I felt like I was reading a draft of a manuscript and I really felt a little embarrassed for the author. It just. Wasn't. Good.

The writing alternated being heinously rushed when it probably should have slowed down and dwelled on the situation a little (like explaining her history with Brad, the whole "you are the Chosen One" thing where she was over it in like half a second) and lingered for far too long on minutiae that I just didn't give a crap about (potatoes. EFFING POTATOES. She ate them a lot. And cleaned. And made other mechanical movements throughout). I wouldn't say it was sloppy as much as it was amateurish. Hate to say it but that was my impression. These are writing kinks that one's supposed to work out by the time they're published.

The mechanical movements? I was reading stereo instructions of character actions. There was no flourish to anything and for a story that's supposed to be so action-packed I just ended up skimming along. No oomph, no marvel. Nothing. Point A, point B, point C, point D. End.

And one just can't forget how super awesome of a swordsman Kate was the second she picked up a sword irrespective of the fact that she's never even touched a sword in her life. It was pretty much at that point I checked out. I don't even think I made it to 100 pages. I just couldn't do it.

The concept was pretty neat: this world is being devoured by darkness where there are these creatures that pretty much tear the hell out of everything. Too bad they're a flash in the plot up until the point I stopped because kissing Brad was so much more important than getting eaten by some kind of Hell Beast. Totally. Ugh. Really disappointed with this one. Perhaps irrationally so. It could have gotten better as the story went on but I wasn't going to slog through such mediocre writing to find out.

Ban Factor: High: Fantasy world without a Christian god. That's pretty much all you need. Although it plays on the whole light and dark concept, it's not a Christian light or darkness.

YAckers Review: I Hunt Killers by Barry Lyga

noreply@blogger.com (Donna @ Bites) — Thu, 24 May 2012 01:34:00 +0000

Published April 3, 2012.

Author website.

Jasper (Jazz) Dent is a likable teenager. A charmer, one might say.

But he's also the son of the world's most infamous serial killer, and for Dear Old Dad, Take Your Son to Work Day was year-round. Jazz has witnessed crime scenes the way cops wish they could--from the criminal's point of view.

And now bodies are piling up in Lobo's Nod.

In an effort to clear his name, Jazz joins the police in a hunt for a new serial killer. But Jazz has a secret--could he be more like his father than anyone knows? (goodreads.com)

Lyga is demented. And I love him so hard for it. I HUNT KILLERS is unique and thoroughly disturbing and though all of us who read it, at times, questioned just where Lyga was when he wrote this, we had a lot of good to say about it. So incredibly well-written, if you don't feel just a little repulsed as what's going on in these pages then something must be wrong with you. Seriously. I mean I wasn't as affected as some of my fellow YAckers were but there were moments where I pulled back a little. I'm only human. Mostly.

The Keeper of the Book this month was Holly so why don't you come stop by her site, Book Harbinger, and see what we had to say about I HUNT KILLERS. CORNNUTS!

Ban Factor: High - OMG, are you kidding me? The banners would burn this one alive.

Not In My School (5)

noreply@blogger.com (Donna @ Bites) — Wed, 23 May 2012 04:00:00 +0000

Not In My School is a weekly meme hosted by yours truly that throws out one YA lit cliche a week for you to compare to your own high school days, current or past. For more information go here.

What's on this week's agenda?

Boys with super long lashes.

I can't count how many times a boy's eyelashes are mentioned in your standard YA novel. And they're always long and luscious and at times make the chick jealous that she needs to supplement with volumizing mascara. Usually a guy's eyelashes were pretty low on my list of noticeable things. And if you happened to mention to a guy that he had lovely eyelashes you'd probably get some weird looks in return. But now it appears all boys go the way of the Bieber and Efron and actually WANT enviable lashes, with or without curling. So maybe I'm out of date. Or maybe I'm just not a fan of the Bieber.

What about you? What was it like in your school? Leave your link in the comments!

The Obligatory BEA Post

noreply@blogger.com (Donna @ Bites) — Tue, 22 May 2012 23:53:00 +0000

Well, it's that time of year again. We are officially two weeks away from BEA and I'm just a little bit excited. I may or may not have peed a little. Most likely the latter.

Instead of spreading out my schedule times down to the second, because I'm far too paranoid and I don't want to have to bring the hurt down on anyone that could potentially stalk me, I'm just going to give you a general rundown of the authors and books that I'm going to be keeping my eye out for while I'm there. Look at that epic sentence, won't you?

Let's see. For authors I have -

RL Stine (OMMFGBBQ fangirl moment!)
Eloisa James (for my evil twin)
Melissa Marr
Maggie Stiefvater (for a fellow YAcker across the pond that couldn't make the trip)
Sarah J. Maas
Kristin Cashore (for my evil twin)
Maureen Johnson
Sarah MacLean (for my evil twin)
Julie Kagawa

It's a really short list this year simply because I'm attending far more events this time around so my time's been split between the event and off-site shenanigannery.

I may make an appearance at the YA Editor's Buzz panel but I haven't decided yet. And I know I'm definitely going to be popping into the Apocalypsies event that same day. That one's a must, even for a few minutes.

How about them books?

Purdy covers. In between all of this over these few days I'll be running in and out of hotels. I was originally going to stay just Tuesday night and come back Wednesday evening. Then I had an event crop up Thursday morning that I REALLY wanted to attend so that pretty much killed my original plan and I needed to stay another night. You'd think I'd just be able to amend my reservation with the hotel I was already staying at. Well yeah, sure I could have done that . . . for an additional $500 for the new night.

Excuse me, what? I literally had to have the woman repeat the price to me like three times because I didn't think I was hearing her right. $500 for a single night. The night I already paid for was half that. Bite me. I'll find another hotel. And I did. A little further downtown but for the same price. I'm okay with that. I'll take the inconvenience of shuffling hotels halfway through the day over spending almost $1,000 for two nights in a barely three star hotel. No thanks. So yeah. I have gaps in my schedule for a reason. I have two check-ins to contend with.

So I shall be doing a lot of running around for those two and a half days that I'm there. I have off-site events all three days (I'm actually only going to BEA Tuesday and Wednesday, I'm passing on Thursday) plus a phenomenal dinner with some of my fellow YAckers at Willy Wonka's cousin's house. I'm super excited.

This is going to be a good BEA. I can't wait!

Word to Your Mother

noreply@blogger.com (Donna @ Bites) — Tue, 22 May 2012 01:31:00 +0000

First I think I need to give some credit where credit is due. I don't want anyone to think I'm plagiarizing or anything.
A huge thanks to Justin Hall for creating the first ever blog. Without him I certainly wouldn't be here, blogging. Really, we all should be crediting Justin in each and every one of our posts because, well, every blog post that we make WITHOUT giving him credit is a win for plagiarism. For more information on the history of the blog, please be sure to check out the bastion of all knowledge.
I simply can't go on without thanking that one dude in the tights and the tri-corner hat for thinking it a marvelous idea to publicly announce his general likes or distastes for books in print via locally type-set and hand-cranked newspapers. Without this unknown gentleman (and you know it's a dude because bitches didn't typeset) we simply couldn't compile coherent thought enough to simply review, let alone add in succinctly placed animated images to better convey our feelings. On a smaller note, one can't overlook the rise of literacy rates of the general public during that same time. Thank you, minions, for rising above the mire and paving the way for people like me.
And look! Even more credit is due to the 18th century! The rise of the book advert! Hooray! Now if you want to talk the beginnings of true advertising you're going to have to go supernova old timey, back to the Greeks and Romans and Egyptians. They were all about the adverts. Except their billboards weren't mechanized. But the book advert? That coincides with the unwashed masses getting learned and wanting to read them wordy lumps and create discussions with each other and whatnot. So big up to you, men of history, for thinking to spread the word about the awesomeness of books and giving me the idea to do the same.
Okay? Are we good? Is anyone else going to piss and moan about how horrible it is that someone is taking someone else's idea, putting their own unique spin on it and creating their own thing? Yes? Then go read Rachel's (Parajunkee's) post about plagiarism versus etiquette and check yourself. At the rate people are throwing fecal matter at the rotating devices about meme stealing you'd think we'd need to credit the act of book reviewing itself. Book covers in sidebars? Credit. Blog post titles? Credit. Blog post signatures? Credit. Book covers in reviews? Credit. The use of the word 'the'? Credit.
But that's different--HOW? How is that different? I've actually had a feature meme stolen. Not taken and put a different spin on it. Stolen verbatim. That's plagiarism. You know what else I've seen? A similar idea altered and added into the book review itself. Do you see me losing my shit about it? No. Because, SHOCK, people can have similar ideas. It happens. But I don't expect to be the be-all-end-all of this particular meme and any variations thereof. That's just insanity. So really, just because someone posts about the books they received for that week, adding in, or not, whatever else it is they want to add, doesn't make them indebted to a single Al Gore-ish I INVENTED THE INTERNETS blogger because they happen to be bigger and popularized a particular aspect of it. I'm not going to nitpick the differences between plagiarism and etiquette because Rachel does a good enough job of that. But let's cut this shit because it's annoying. The concept of advertising books was not invented in 2007. Get over it.
Now, just to be clear, YOU CAN'T COPYRIGHT IDEAS. It's impossible. The copyright office won't accept it. Blogging tips, book reviews (generally speaking), snark, the word 'and,' these things are generalities. Again, this is something that Rachel talks about in that same post above. Everyone has ideas and they're going to overlap, sometimes unintentionally. Common phrases, common topics, common themes. It's bound to happen.
Where the line is drawn is where you start copying syntax, set-up, timing, wording, execution. That leaves the "general ideas" behind and broaches into the world of downright plagiarism. You can find a billion and one blog posts about how to make your blog successful, how to get readers, how to utilize social media. Whatever. All of these guys are going to touch on the same subjects but they should read as individuals. How many projects did you do in school on the same subjects as classmates but they ended up coming out completely different? Duh. Differing execution is possible. But when your paper sounds awfully close to Billy's over there someone's going to have some 'splainin' to do. Right, Ice?

Now see Ice here, or is it Mr. Vanilla? Winky? Learned the hard way that even though you add a couple of extra notes onto an already popular intro you can't call it your own, completely different or in any way not pass it off as you being a total douche and stealing someone else's stuff. Bowie & Co. will notice, right Bobby? A couple of notes does not your work make. I mean, no wonder this guy totally broke down under his own pent up douchery years later.
So what did the nice tool box learn? That you can't just take someone else's entire shit, sprinkle in a little of your poo and call it totally yours and be done with it? Hmm? Without credit attributed? Hmmm? That's right. We're all big kids. Totally edumacated. Let's not toss around half-assed comments that you didn't know what plagiarism was. That you totally thought you were working under Fair Use or Orphan Works or Feigned Ignorance or whatever. Let's not start thinking we can strip off the Apple logo on an iPad and start calling it Pear and it's totally our own making because IT LOOKS NOTHING LIKE AN IPAD. Totally. Let's not patronize people and insult their intelligence, shall we?
We know Queen and David FUCKING Bowie when we hear it, man. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times and you're stumping around footless because you've shot them off.
I'm smarterer than what I'm generally given credit for. Now for some of the REAL thing -

Fucking shenanigans. Seriously. Can we go a quarter without this shit exploding in a flaming blaze of stink? Please? Is that too much to ask? Three months? To quote Tom Hanks playing Jimmy Dugan in A League of Their Own, "Start using your head. That's that lump three feet above your ass." There's no crying in baseball.

Angels, Vampires & Douche Bags by Carla Collins

noreply@blogger.com (Donna @ Bites) — Mon, 21 May 2012 23:35:00 +0000

Published March 1, 2010.

Author website.

In this candid confessional, comedian Carla Collins divides the world into the angels who guide us, inspire us, and save our butts; the sexy and trendy vampires who suck the life out of us; and the douche bags who constantly annoy, disgust and taunt us. With a fast wit, fake breasts and real heart, Collins shares her unconventional journey from a small steel town in Ontario, Canada to Tinseltown L.A. On this wild and revealing romp, she navigates her way through seventy-two imaginary friends, multiple fianc s, eight dogs, two marriages, and one topless grandmother. Her hard-earned life lessons will show you that by taking risks, embracing humiliation and tapping into the power of laughter, anything is possible--and everyone is manageable. Attract more angels into your life, control your vampires, and keep all the douche bags at bay. (goodreads.com)

I laughed my ass off reading ANGELS, VAMPIRES & DOUCHE BAGS. Seriously, Carla has a wit and timing about her that just can't be beat. She's a petite little blonde that's packed full of snark but never even comes close to toeing the line of being a snatch. Her comedy doesn't stem from any kind of nastiness. There isn't a bitterness to it. Sure, some of the things in her life weren't all that great but even the seedier moments are spun on their head and given a humorous light. Carla is exceptionally self-deprecating, something I can wholly appreciate. Trust, no one's going to find you funny unless you can laugh at yourself first.

While having a nominally unhealthy obsession with hookers, Carla tells like it it is, her life spread eagle on the pages for all to see. She doesn't try to hide anything and she certainly doesn't sugarcoat any of it either. Her stories are told with a poignant voice that really only sprinkles in the snark but the lines are so well-timed that they kind of sneak up on you and you find yourself laughing before you can even really process what you read. Seriously, I need to see this woman live because she's a damn good storyteller. I can imagine her sitting around a table just chatting and just the WAY she tells the stories sucks you right in. The tone, the voice, it's funny without actually being funny simply because you know there's going to be a line there that'll crack you right the hell up.

If I quoted all of my favorite lines I'd pretty much be duplicating the entire book but here are some of note enough that I stopped reading to plug into my Goodreads status thingy -

"I hesitated, because to me, tantric sex sounds like a Kevin Costner movie - it goes on forever and nobody comes."

"I was at the counter and figured I needed a back of Mentos, a copy of People magazine and a bag of boobies."

"That Jerry Maguire movie was bullshit. You need to become complete yourself first; then ideally, find another complete human to compliment you."

Between the most excellent pearls of wisdom and the snap, it could hardly go wrong.

Except it did. Not at the fault of Carla, though. From page 75 to 104 it duplicates from page 17 on 32 pages. I'm not kidding. And I'm not talking some extra pages shoved into the greater book. I'm talking about these 32 pages replaced the greater part of the VAMPIRES portion of this book. I was filled with chagrin. I mean talk about total buzz kill. And it cut me off in the middle of an epic story and I still have no idea how it ended! I'm missing 23% of the book and that makes me cranky. Cranky to the point where I don't know how to rate this. I loved everything I read. Carla has an intriguing life and a kick ass voice that'll make me want to read anything she's ever written. But an inbred one-eyed, one-handed clown bound the book and robbed me of a chunk of it. Cranky.

I believe I shall rate it based on writing alone even though missing that part of the book put a huge damper on it for me. Like I said, not Carla's fault so I can't discount her for it. But I can grumble.

Ban Factor: High - Did you miss the part about Carla having a nominally unhealthy obsession with hookers? Or boobies? Or the tantric sex? The banners are swooning. Someone get some accordion fans.

Added to the Pile + 111

noreply@blogger.com (Donna @ Bites) — Sun, 20 May 2012 23:41:00 +0000

Three sweetnick books this week, all from NetGalley. I'm amassing a mighty collection from them. Considering a couple of these are rather lengthy omnibuses I have a bit of reading ahead of me.

THE BLACK ISLE by Sandi Tan
OBSIDIAN & BLOOD by Aliette de Bodard (currently in the cooker)
SAMANTHA MOON by JR Rain (already attempted to read and gave up rather quickly, like record settingly quickly)

As you can see I'm kind of branching out. I need me some variety and a little less YA. Not that there's anything wrong with YA. I just need more variety. Mainly high fantasy. Good high fantasy.

Things I've Learned from Books + 152

noreply@blogger.com (Donna @ Bites) — Sun, 20 May 2012 14:08:00 +0000

Who says books actually need to be bound properly? Since most people only focus on the covers, no one's really going to notice 30 pages of repeated text in a final bound book. Honest. They'll skim right over it. Proofreading is for pussies anyway.

80s Awesomeness! ~ 160

noreply@blogger.com (Donna @ Bites) — Sun, 20 May 2012 02:08:00 +0000

That, my friends, is a Glo Worm. A nightlight in toy form, it came complete with it's own cartoon, as did many other 80s toys. Or vise versa. I personally never had one of these guys. In fact I don't even remember them being around. But Soldier Boy here is familiar with this toy and he assures me it was neither soft nor cuddly. Mainly because of its hard plastic face.

Freaky Friday :|: 160

noreply@blogger.com (Donna @ Bites) — Sat, 19 May 2012 02:23:00 +0000

Title: Overdue
Author: Richie Tankersley Cusick
Published: April 1, 1995
Publisher: Simon Pulse
Pages: 224
Summary:

Kathleen is working late in the library when someone returns five grisly books about death, all overdue. Then close friends begin having tragic accidents. Kathleen is sure of one thing--the killer will strike again. Is her death overdue? (fantasticfiction.co.uk)

OMG, epically, cheesily yes! Horror in the library. I love it. I don't care how terrible it could end up being. I'd read it and worship it like it so rightly deserves.

This Week on Blogger Confidential . . .

noreply@blogger.com (Donna @ Bites) — Fri, 18 May 2012 01:29:00 +0000

Over at Emily's us confidantes discuss what's in a name. Our blog names. The whys and how-tos. Come see!

Shadow & Bone by Leigh Bardugo

noreply@blogger.com (Donna @ Bites) — Thu, 17 May 2012 23:59:00 +0000

Pub date: June 5, 2012.

Author website.

Surrounded by enemies, the once-great nation of Ravka has been torn in two by the Shadow Fold, a swath of near impenetrable darkness crawling with monsters who feast on human flesh. Now its fate may rest on the shoulders of one lonely refugee.

Alina Starkov has never been good at anything. But when her regiment is attacked on the Fold and her best friend is brutally injured, Alina reveals a dormant power that saves his life—a power that could be the key to setting her war-ravaged country free. Wrenched from everything she knows, Alina is whisked away to the royal court to be trained as a member of the Grisha, the magical elite led by the mysterious Darkling.

Yet nothing in this lavish world is what it seems. With darkness looming and an entire kingdom depending on her untamed power, Alina will have to confront the secrets of the Grisha…and the secrets of her heart. (netgalley.com)

Potential Spoilers Ahead

I don't think my review is really spoilerish because of elements that I believe are rather obvious from the beginning but just to be safe . . .

OMFGBBQ did I devour this book. Like whoa, gobbled it right down and it didn't even give me gas. We're talking Cinda Williams Chima level of love right now. For anyone that knows me, that's a lot of love. Not quite on the same exact level but I did add BBQ to my explanation. That means a lot.

Let's see . . . what can I say about SHADOW & BONE without turning into a total blithering fangirl?

Alina is one hell of a kick ass heroine. Seriously. She's got a smart mouth and stands up for herself even in moments when she'd probably be better off keeping her trap shut. A character flaw but one I like. Because that's totally me. Honesty is my best policy. It just may not be true for others.

Mal? Yeah, I'm a total fan. There was a time there where I filed him into the complete toolbox category but with his re-emergence came his redemption. He fits Alina perfectly. One personality doesn't overpower the other and they really jive. It's a relationship I can totally get behind because it feels real. It's something that was built up over time as opposed to the instant soup kind. There was substance there, history, a deeper bond than smelling pretty. It's everything I want to see in a relationship and then some. That's not to say it's perfect but it's REAL.

The Darkling surprised me. I kind of knew he was off from the beginning but I found the depth to his offness shocking. But it was well-built. His personality ended up being kind of standard villain-ish but I'm okay with that. There were other elements to the puzzle that ground out that particular aspect of him and made him more realistic. There's a ruthlessness there and the author's willingness to actually show it that I admire. Not the evil, sadistic ruthlessness but the author not shying away from it. It paints Bargudo in a great light for me and it brings added depth to The Darkling's character.

I was pleasantly surprised by a few of things in the book. One of them is that at the beginning of Alina's stay being a Grisha that her schooling appeared to be a type of boarding school. Wherein I began to think that it's yet another boarding school story and I've been duped. Not the case. Another, where Alina is coming into her powers and they're trying to figure out why she constantly needed an amplifier to bring them out. I guessed, and was wrong. Another? The vulcra. I was shocked to find out just what they are. Another testament to Bardugo's authorly twistedness. I liked it.

I wasn't overly thrilled with the ending, more like a particular element of it, but I'll get over it. I liked it overall and how it wasn't a total cop-out and everything wrapped up nicely with a little bow at the end. Not so much. But there was hope there, just enough to wrap up the greater story arc but set the precedent for future books. And I can't wait.

SHADOW & BONE is an excellent high fantasy addition to the YA category. The world is lavishly built, with real world elements that keep it firmly within reach, and characters that'll suck you in and have you begging for more. You'll definitely want to read this. You'll be disappointed if you don't.

Ban Factor: High - Never mind Alina's swearing or her defiance or her sexy tryst. It's a world without a Christian god. BE ALL END ALL!

Not In My School (4)

noreply@blogger.com (Donna @ Bites) — Wed, 16 May 2012 04:00:00 +0000

Not In My School is a weekly meme hosted by yours truly that throws out one YA lit cliche a week for you to compare to your own high school days, current or past. For more information go here.

What are we discussing this week?

Redheads and their fiery shenanigans

Apparently every school has their share of redheaded best friends or that redheaded chick that SO lives up to her redheaded standards. Well, I think I had all of three gingers in my school with two of them being more strawberry blonde. None of them were tripping over themselves with friends and none of them are what I would call "fiery." And there was relatively little, if any, shenanigannery going on with them. But maybe this is regional. Maybe there are an abundance of redheads somewhere I don't know about, some magical land where everyone has a redheaded best friend hiding somewhere. No?

What about you? What was it like in your school? Leave your link in the comments!

I have an unhealthy obsession . . .

noreply@blogger.com (Donna @ Bites) — Tue, 15 May 2012 23:44:00 +0000

Beyond my Lost Boys fetish. Which is heinous. Like really bad.

This is a slightly different kind of obsession. It doesn't make me want to visit any foreign lands or adopt Tina Turner hair or fondle crystal balls or anything but the story is so epically awesome that anything even remotely resembling it will make me want to gobble it up with the hopes that I don't release Bog of Eternal Stench-level farts in its wake.

Can you guess what it is yet?

Yup. That's it. Totally epic. If you haven't seen Labyrinth yet I blame your parents, for they have failed you. It leads me to squeal with delight when I come across websites like this with things like this -

Seriously??? OMFGBBQ I WANT TO OWN EVERY SINGLE SHIRT! I don't care if I'll end up paying $75 a shirt between currency conversions and shipping. I WANT!!! Labyrinth has also led me to amass a small collection of Labyrinth stuff (that pales in comparison to all of my Lost Boys stuff but that's besides the point, and my Labyrinth site is woefully unfinished, just FYI).

But it's also because of this epic fantasy/epic David Bowie codpiece movie . . . take a minute . . .

It's because of this movie that I have a tendency of seeing Labyrinth in places that it may not exist. Or it might. Take, for instance, THE IRON KING by Julie Kagawa -

I had Labyrinth on the brain reading this one. Between Meghan constantly talking about saving her brother to all of her creaturific companions throughout the story, I couldn't help it -

The Labyrinth undertones? Oh absolutely. Jareth was just dance, magic, dancing in my head through some of those parts. Every time Meghan pleaded with a creature that she had to find her brother, Sarah was right there. Grimalkin? A more valiant Hoggle. The ogre in the club? Ludo. The baby brother? Toby. It was all there. There were sly little insinuations. Nothing drastic or even all that noticeable unless you were a Labyrinth nut like me. But I saw them. Oh I saw them.

Kagawa never openly admitted to a Labyrinth influence and it may very well had been my Bowie brain making the connection. But I saw it.

So imagine you're me coming across this book cover on a few book bloggers' blogs -

Oh hey! What? I can haz? What is this Goblin King-ish fantasy and does he wear tights? Does he carry a riding crop? Are there pseudo-sexual undertones that may or may not be inappropriate for the forefront context?

While trying to save her brother four years ago, Greta was thrown into the witch’s fire herself, falling through a portal to a dangerous world where humans are the enemy, and every ogre, goblin, and ghoul has a dark side that comes out with the full moon.

To survive, seventeen-year-old Greta has hidden her humanity and taken the job of bounty hunter—and she’s good at what she does. So good, she’s caught the attention of Mylena’s young Goblin King, the darkly enticing Isaac, who invades her dreams and undermines her determination to escape.

But Greta’s not the only one looking to get out of Mylena. The full moon is mere days away, and an ancient evil knows she’s the key to opening the portal. If Greta fails, she and the lost boys of Mylena will die. If she succeeds, no world will be safe from what follows her back. (goodreads.com)

OH MY GOD!!! I can read that! There's something there! I may be reaching but I can still see it! DON'T RUIN MY DREAMS! CODPIECE!

I added this book to my want list on Goodreads so fast the damn page hadn't even loaded yet.

Do I have an obsession? Maybe. Am I slightly insane? Possibly. But can you count it against me to try and relive the MOST EPIC FANTASY EVER in the things I read? Codpiece? Have you READ the Labyrinth smut? Shit, have you READ the Labyrinth novelization??? This is supposed to be a kids' movie! Totally not. Codpiece.

So while I wait for GRETA AND THE GOBLIN KING to be released, you'll know where to find me.

My bouts of random capitalization get credited to Laura at A Jane of All Reads. Crediting credit to creditors owed also goes to Laura.

Year of the Beasts by Cecil Castellucci

noreply@blogger.com (Donna @ Bites) — Mon, 14 May 2012 23:14:00 +0000

Pub date: May 22, 2012.

Author website.

Every summer the trucks roll in, bringing the carnival and its infinite possibilities to town. This year Tessa and her younger sister Lulu are un-chaperoned and want to be first in line to experience the rides, the food . . . and the boys. Except this summer, jealousy will invade their relationship for the first time, setting in motion a course of events that can only end in tragedy, putting everyone's love and friendship to the test. Alternating chapters of prose and comics are interwoven in this extraordinary novel that will break your heart and crack it wide open at the same time. (netgalley.com)

Now I'm kinda torn on YEAR OF THE BEASTS. On one hand I liked the voice and the storytelling, along with the set-up of the story itself, how it alternated between prose and comic. On the other hand I just wasn't all that thrilled with the story and ended up thinking is was a bit melodramatic.

The whole carnival aspect that the blurb emphasized is really minimal. It happened at the very beginning of the story and while it was the catalyst for the story to move forward the way it did that's the end of its relevance. Ultimately this story, based on the comic portion, is far more rooted in Greek myth than anything fanciful like a carnival. Not that there's anything wrong with that but it makes the blurb slightly misleading.

In the prose portion Tessa ends up making herself a rival to her sister, who ends up getting the guy she has a crush on. And it begins to develop as your standard sibling rivalry except it's a little more one-sided. Tessa finds herself inferior to Lulu in looks and personality and whatnot. But Tessa ultimately finds her own boy. He just turns out to be someone that "isn't acceptable" to the crowd she hangs out with so she hides him. And he kind of wants to stay hidden, refusing to hang out with her while with her friends. A bit of a douche. He redeems his douchiness towards the end of the story but ultimately he's a pretty big dick, saying that he just CAN'T go out with them as a group, blah, blah, emo, blah.

The comic portion runs along side the prose, telling it in a fashion that was so over the top melodramatic that I had a hard time getting over it. Tessa's Medusa and has to wear a scarf over her hair in order to keep from turning people into stone while Lulu, the beautiful mermaid, gets adored and praised to the point of suffocation. It was just a little much for me. Trust me. I had, and still have, body image issues, but Medusa? Seriously? It seemed a little too much for me to swallow. Great art and everything but it elevated the story to a point just left of ridiculous in my eyes.

The ending had me crying. Without a doubt it was pretty heart-wrenching. I did like the way Tessa recovered from it though. The event at the end changes a lot of people's lives and it opened up their eyes to a greater world. The ending, really, was spot on. I couldn't have asked for a better one. If there was less melodrama leading up to it I probably would have liked it better.

Tessa and Lulu were sort of flowy characters, swirling around each other pretty seamlessly as the story progressed. They fed off each other, each being strong when the other was weak, providing a homeostasis within the story itself. But it does get thrown off and people have to adjust. It's all in how they adjust to that wrench that reinstates that kind of nirvana. Leading into the ending again it all fit. Homeostasis was rebalanced, tenuously and for the time being. But I'll take it.

See what I mean about torn? I liked it but I kinda didn't like it. The voice was phenomenal. I loved how the story was told when it was in prose. In comic it was a bit much but the art was fantastic. The plot itself was kind of dull, nothing that hasn't really been done before but the ending blew me away a bit. Not expected at all. So can I recommend YEAR OF THE BEASTS? Probably. The only way to know if you'll like it is to read it. I obviously can't tell you one way or another.

Ban Factor: Low - I really don't know what would get banner panties in a twist in this one. The characters talk about kissing but that's the extent of the sexuality. Medusa turning people into stone? Can be horrifying. Not much by the way of swearing though. A little bit but you'd need to dig to find it.

Random Acts of Kindness BLITZ!

noreply@blogger.com (Donna @ Bites) — Mon, 14 May 2012 14:00:00 +0000

A smile. An encouraging word. A thoughtful gesture. Each day people interact with us, help, and make our day a bit brighter and full. This is especially true in the Writing Community.

Take a second to think about writers you know, like the critique partner who works with you to improve your manuscript. The writing friend who listens, supports and keeps you strong when times are tough. The author who generously offers council, advice and inspiration when asked.

So many people take the time to make us feel special, don't they? They comment on our blogs, re-tweet our posts, chat with us on forums and wish us Happy Birthday on Facebook.

Kindness ROCKS!

To commemorate the release of their book The Emotion Thesaurus, Becca and Angela at The Bookshelf Muse are hosting a TITANIC Random Act Of Kindness BLITZ. And because I think KINDNESS is contagious, I'm participating too!

Nicole at WORD for Teens is my blitz recipient. I've known her pretty much since I started blogging and she's been an absolute gem the entire time. Constantly supportive, super kind and insanely intelligent, Nicole is passionate about books and is more than willing to give authors a helping hand to promote their novels. She's dedicated to her blog, the YA genre and stirring thought in others. She deserves it! So to her I'm giving a $25 Barnes and Noble gift card so she can keep reading and spreading the love. Thank you for being you, Nicole!

Do you know someone special that you'd like to randomly acknowledge? Don't be shy--come join us and celebrate! Send them an email, give them a shout out, or show your appreciation in another way. Kindness makes the world go round. :)

Becca and Angela have a special RAOK gift waiting for you as well, so hop on over to The Bookshelf Muse to pick it up.

Have you ever participated in or been the recipient of a Random Act Of Kindness? Let me know in the comments!

The Unidentified by Rae Mariz

noreply@blogger.com (Donna @ Bites) — Sun, 13 May 2012 23:10:00 +0000

Published October 5, 2010.

Author website.

Kid knows her school’s corporate sponsors not-so-secretly monitor her friendships and activities for market research. It’s all a part of the Game; the alternative education system designed to use the addictive kick from video games to encourage academic learning. Everyday, a captive audience of students ages 13-17 enter the nationwide chain store-like Game locations to play.

When a group calling themselves The Unidentified simulates a suicide to protest the power structure of their school, Kid’s investigation into their pranks attracts unwanted attention from the sponsors. As Kid finds out she doesn't have rights to her ideas, her privacy, or identity, she and her friends look for a way to revolt in a place where all acts of rebellion are just spun into the next new ad campaign. (goodreads.com)

You know, THE UNIDENTIFIED had a good premise but the overall execution ended up being rather ho hum for me. At the end of the day it was about the social outcast coming to grips with the social strata in her school with the end result being the nonconformists conforming to the nonconformists' conformity. I was actually kind of disappointed. I'm not really sure what I was expecting but I know it was definitely something a little more than a higher tech Heathers (which is an awesome movie, THE UNIDENTIFIED, not so awesome of a book).

Kid is your standard I DON'T WANT TO FIT IN chick that purposely goes out of her way to not blend in with the crowd. Too bad for her that has the adverse effect and her nonconformist attitude gets picked up by the mall/school sponsors as the new uncool cool. Really, a bit on the lame side. The anti-popular popular. Kid then gets branded and her best friend totally hates her for it because BEST FRIEND has been trying soooooooooo hard to get branded (aka sponsorship and free stuff with access to a VIP lounge) whereas Kid obviously bucked the system. A boy gets involved that equally contributes to the screwing up of things because her other best friend, ~~Ducky~~ Mikey, totally digs her but, of course, doesn't say anything until it's too late and then holds it against her. Brilliant.

Kid makes an effort to seek out The Unidentified, whom I originally thought to be this epic paramilitary group that could exist in Red Dawn or something but it turns out they're just the school freaks with weird hair that buck the system even more than Kid. More disappointment. I saw The Unidentified "twist" coming almost as soon as it entered simply because it played out exactly as what it was. But whatever.

The more I write about THE UNIDENTIFIED the more annoyed by it I become. For a book that plays at being covert and espionage-ish is ended up being completely dull and nothing more than your standard high school fare set in a slightly futuristic mall setting with some video games for classes. The world itself was probably the most unique part of the story: the government ran out of money for education so it started being subsidized by private companies and the whole system ended up being one giant ad campaign with students vying to be each company's number one star. It's also a world with a lot of anti-kid laws like curfews, a lack of regard for the first amendment where kids aren't allowed to congregate anywhere, walk anywhere, simply because they may cause trouble. But that latter part isn't touched on too much. Kid doesn't really go out into the world but once and it's intricacies are off-handedly mentioned as she looks for people. The story world is pretty strictly confined to the mall. But outside of that, it's the same story repeated ad infinitum. There was nothing about that aspect that stood out to me.

In my opinion file this one into the copycat category. Not really dystopian simply because the world isn't anywhere near built up enough to grasp onto that genre but it's slightly unsettling. Education going into the private corporation sector for funding is slightly horrifying. But the story itself is a rehash, playing out like yet another teen movie with this epic We Are The Teen World ending and not much standing it out against the rest.

Ban Factor: Medium - There's swearing and sexual references going on but one would actually need to READ the book in order to find them. That's a non-issue for banners so that alone should make it slide right under their radar. Maybe.

Added to the Pile + 110

noreply@blogger.com (Donna @ Bites) — Sun, 13 May 2012 18:12:00 +0000

Two glorious books this week . . .

From my evil twin on my birthday -

GRACELING by Kristen Cashore

Yeah I'm pretty much well aware that I'm probably the only person who hasn't read this one. I shall remedy that soon.

And from HarperCollins -

DARKNESS BEFORE DAWN by JA London

Am I the only one that's completely freaked out by The Ring-looking chicks that keep appearing on book covers? Should I be worried that she's going to crawl off the cover and distort my face?

Things I've Learned from Books + 151

noreply@blogger.com (Donna @ Bites) — Sun, 13 May 2012 13:57:00 +0000

Don't ever forget: it's ALL about what you wear, who and for how much. Otherwise you are a big basket pile of no one.

And the winner is . . .

noreply@blogger.com (Donna @ Bites) — Sat, 12 May 2012 15:03:00 +0000

The winner of an ARC of CATE AND THE LOST COLONY by Lisa Klein is . . .

LETHEA!!!

Congratulations! I've already sent you an email so be sure to get back to me ASAP. And a huge thanks to everyone who entered!